Love In The Marriage Relationship
Love is usually misunderstood. People think that it is an emotion or something you feel. It does bring on emotions but it’s not something you necessarily feel. In marriage relationships sometimes the feelings people normally associate with love have faded for a time.
Love is a decision to act and to treat someone a certain way. It is more about what you do than what you feel. It is about the commitment you made to the person you chose to marry. It is a promise. That is why you promised to love at your marriage ceremony. You didn’t promise to feel a certain way. The promise was made for better or for worse.
Yes love is necessary in the marriage relationship because feelings come and go. Sometimes anger may arise, or you may get hurt by the one you love. This is not the time to give up your love. This is the time when you need love the most. Your decision to love leads you to forgive, repair, encourage, build, cherish and make better your marriage relationship. That is not to say it will be easy. Sometimes those good feelings will be there for you and sometimes they wont. But your constant commitment to love as you have promised will ensure that those feelings show up more frequently.
Many marriages have ended because a spouse would be drawn to someone outside the relationship. This is brought on by feelings and lust. These feelings can change and often do. It takes wisdom not to follow every feeling or desire that comes our way. Comparing your spouse or mate to others is wrong. It takes your focus off of you as a couple and focuses on the individual and their problems as you see them. Once this happens it is easy to get caught up into a relationship outside the marriage. You begin to justify your behavior by what you don’t have, or can’t get at home. It becomes easier to forget your commitment to the love, marriage, and your spouse.
Always remember love. Remember the commitment to your spouse in the face of difficult times. It is your decision to love that will get you through. When both people remember to keep their commitment to love one another the marriage is safe. Without this commitment the marriage is powerless to survive the difficulties that it will inevitably face.
The only chance you have at loving your spouse in this way is to have God at the center of your own life. God is Love and you must become obedient to Him. Here is what the bible says about love. You will clearly see that it describes the God Himself…
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1Corinthians 13:4-7)
Does this sound like you? It shouldn’t. We are not like this in our own strength. I’m sorry but these are not the natural qualities of men and women. God is the only one who has all of these qualities. The only way we can exhibit them in our own lives is to let God’s love flow out from our hearts.
If you are a believer then God’s love is in you. Romans 5:3-5 says… “We also glory in tribulations (troubled times), knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
When you run in to trouble in your marriage find a place to get quiet and pray. Listen for the voice of the Lord, the love that has been poured out in your heart by the Spirit of God, and obey what it tells you. Love is not about feeling a certain way. Feelings come and go. The Love of God is a solid rock.
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